I have been a GP for over thirty years and for much of that time I have struggled with whether or not to change and do something else. I have enjoyed some of the work yet always in the back of my mind been a little unsatisfied. I have changed jobs many times trying to find the perfect GP job and stopped work for a year once to write. But each time I change jobs I find myself back in the same place I had left. Doing work that doesn’t quite fit with who I really am.
Finally I have decided to retire from conventional general practice work and will be leaving San Remo at the end of July.
This decision has not been made easily but I finally realised that I couldn’t keep working in a system that does not support the provision of holistic health care within the GP framework. In Australia our health system is time poor and drug rich; it caters for a quick fix when there are very few quick fixes that actually work to make us healthier.
I have struggled to practice holistic medicine within the GP system and I have therefore decided to give up on that particular struggle. I am sad to leave the patients who have supported me but I feel that I should follow my heart for a change. For too long I have followed my head and justified staying in general practice through logical reasoning. In a way I am moving into my own holistic wellness by shedding a job that stops me from being truly myself.
I’m taking a bit of a leap because I can’t afford to stop working completely yet I also can’t afford to keep doing a job that doesn’t fit with my passions and interests. It is a little soul destroying to do work that is not in line with who I really am.
So where to now? I’m going to continue part time at Headspace doing some youth mental health work as their model is much more holistic than the conventional GP system. I’m going to do more writing which is my biggest passion. And I’m going to allow life to unfold. Just like I write about in my book I’m going to trust the process of life and let go of the outcome and see where life takes me. I’ve tried to control the process around work for so long that I became stuck in a system that I didn’t agree with. It’s time for yet another change and I’m excited to see where life takes me now.